Opinion

The 7 Keys to Creating Useless Americans

Creating useless Americans hasn’t always been easy.

After all, for most of America’s history, the church was strong, kids were expected to do some work and there was no welfare. The attitude wasn’t quite, “If you don’t work, enjoy starving to death because that’s what you deserve,” but there was definitely a little of that vibe going around. Americans outfought everyone from the Indians to the Mexicans to the British to conquer America, made it through the Depression, won two world wars, and built a reputation as an independent, self-reliant, religious, gun-totin’, hard-working, patriotic people.   

How do you take people that come from that kind of stock and make them useless? Well, there are ways if you’re dedicated enough. Especially if you start young. For example:

1) Raise them to be fragile and afraid of everything: Keep a constant eye on your kid. Always make sure there’s an adult around him, ready to tell him what to do and settle any disputes. Know where he is every second of the day. Be his friend. Don’t ever push him to really challenge himself, try and fail at things, or deal with anything difficult on his own.

When he has challenges, smooth all of them out for him. If he’s failing a class, blame his teacher. If he’s afraid to do something, tell him he doesn’t have to do it. Certainly, don’t ever let him go off by himself, do anything risky, or put his self-esteem on the line trying something he could fail at.

Protect him from those challenges. Make sure he needs a “safe space” from hearing ideas he disagrees with and needs your help to do things like put on a tie, order from a restaurant, or maybe even make a phone call. Create the kind of kid that will hyperventilate, break down in tears, and make a TikTok video about “microaggressions” three times a week.

2) Give your child a sense of entitlement: What could be more important than your child’s sense of self-esteem? That’s why you’ve got to work non-stop to convince your child that she’s special! She’s amazing! She’s incredible just the way that she is! Why, she’s a princess who deserves to have the world handed to her on a silver platter! She deserves to have everyone like her, get A’s in school, and be treated with deference and maybe even a little awe, just like mommy (and if she’s lucky) daddy does at home.

Based on what you may ask? Based on WHO SHE IS as a person. Essentially, convince this kid she’s the main character in a movie and everyone else from the people she runs across, to boyfriends to her boss at work are all the extras. Everybody owes her and she owes nobody! “You go girl” and if anyone disagrees with you or expects you to perform, well, it’s probably because they have a small penis or hate women or something!

3) Nurse a sense of victimhood: What happens when you take a child and convince him that he’s the center of the universe just because he’s so amazing, but don’t help him gain any of the real-world skills it takes to be elite at… well, anything? That child is very likely to think of himself as a victim.

The “they” that are supposedly keeping him down may vary quite a bit. It could be white Americans, black Americans, conservatives, Christians, Jews, Asians, straight people, “the system,” capitalism, society, the rich, landlords, bosses, men, women, or some other boogeyman, but the key thing here is to encourage that sense of victimhood. The more this child nurses grievances and blames others for his failures, the less likely he is to address his own shortcomings and improve himself.

The more people embrace victimhood, the greater their sense of helplessness becomes. We’re looking to create the sort of people here who think the solution to their lack of skills is for the government to raise the minimum wage.

4) Encourage mental illness: There have always been mentally ill people, but never before has a society worked harder than ours to nurture mental illness in its citizens. The overwhelming majority of older Americans went through their entire life without ever considering whether they were the wrong gender. Not anymore.

Now we literally have teachers, counselors, therapists, some terrible parents, and wackos on social media encouraging children to question their gender and sexuality practically from the time they get out of diapers, all the way through high school.

Furthermore, should it surprise anyone that kids today have out-of-control anxiety? When we were kids, our parents shooed us out of the house, told us to be back by dark, and had no idea where we were all day. We figured out a lot of things on our own because we didn’t have any other choice. Today, kids are babied so much that they don’t know how to do anything and many of them get to 18 without ever having done something of significance on their own. No wonder they’re “anxious.” They don’t know how to do ordinary tasks people used to be able to handle easily at 12 without someone holding their hands.

Along similar lines, is it shocking that depression is so prevalent among kids today? Kids spend all day feeling bad about themselves because they spend all day on social media looking at other kids who have more money, friends, genetic gifts, and fame than 99% of the planet. Then, they deal with the toxicity of the web, feel isolated because most of their friends are just names and voices on a screen they’ll never meet, and marinate in the completely ridiculous, over-the-top outrage bait, hatemongering and prophecies of doom that make up the media today and we wonder why they’re depressed?

If younger Americans seem mentally unstable today, it’s because many of them really are unstable. We’ve gone from encouraging kids to get ready for adulthood, to creating mental disorders in kids they’ll have to deal with for decades after they become an adult.

5) Destroy the quality of education: It’s no secret that much of America’s public education system is in deep decline. In some areas, heavily controlled by the Left, taxpayers are paying Rolls-Royce prices for schools that provide a third-world education for students:

About one-sixth of all third-grade students in Chicago Public Schools can read at grade level. For low-income and minority students, the share of proficient readers is even lower. …In CPS in 2022, just 17.3% of students could read at grade level by the end of third grade. Only 6% of the 457 Chicago schools for which the Illinois State Board of Education recorded proficiency rates among third graders had at least half of third-grade students reading at grade level. There were 82 schools in which no third-grade students were proficient at reading.

Even in the less dysfunctional parts of our public school system, the quality of education has declined and been replaced with propaganda:

Kids constantly complain (with good reason) that they’re not learning enough practical life skills. Additionally, our schools aren’t great at teaching foreign languages or history compared to many other nations. How about PE? Are our schools churning out healthy, fit kids like they used to in say the sixties? Yeah, not so much. All this is despite the fact that the US spends more per pupil than any other nation in the world other than Luxembourg, Norway, and Iceland, which have a grand total of less than 7 million residents combined. That hardly makes them comparable to us.

Starting kids out with a second-rate education helps keep them behind the 8-ball for their entire lives. You want a useless kid? Well, our school system has a big role to play in creating them.

6) Convince them morals don’t matter: How do you make a rotten person? There’s no better start than a child growing up without a dad in the home, whether that’s because of a crushing divorce or because mom never bothered to get married in the first place.

From there, definitely don’t take them to church, where they’ll hear about God as they get lectures about right and wrong every week. Instead, just let them just pick up their morals from whatever happens to be the most entertaining. You know… rock stars, video games, Reddit, green-haired, androgynous schoolteachers, furry forums, over-the-top influencers, pornography, whatever.

Get them to the point where they think right and wrong is totally situational and dependent on whether it benefits them, what makes them sound “cool,” and whether they’re sympathetic toward any potential victim.“Corporations? It’s fine to steal their stuff. Asians? Screw those try-hards! They deserve to get attacked almost as much as the Jews and the Maga guys! Wait though, you can’t disagree with that guy! He’s trans!”

After enough time immersed in this kind of culture, you can create someone who bizarrely comes to believe that they’re a very moral person, even though they personally have no principles at all and even have a general dislike for human beings that actually do have a real moral code.

7) Make them Unpatriotic: Making a kid unpatriotic isn’t all that hard. For one thing, patriotism doesn’t just happen. It has to be taught. In entertainment. In schools, in church, at home. If you don’t do that, well, your work is mostly done.

It’s not all that hard to even make kids actively UNPATRIOTIC. Every country has done lots of things wrong, so just focus on those things in school while you go light on America’s many great accomplishments. Go on and on about the “rights” kids have without ever talking about their responsibilities. Don’t talk about what kids owe other people or their country. Encourage that sense of entitlement instead. Downplay all the great things about this nation and focus on the stuff other nations give away for “free” without ever talking about any of the downsides that come with it, like insanely high taxes.

You can even ramp it up to the point where you have people demanding that we tear down statues of the Founding Fathers and athletes disrespecting the American flag just to get attention. If you don’t love your country and want it to succeed, what good are you going to be to it? Not much. Not much at all.


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