Opinion

Star Wars Fans Upset ‘The Acolyte’ Full Of Woke Stuff Instead Of Siblings Kissing

U.S. — Star Wars fans have made no secret about their disdain for new series The Acolyte, and are hoping the franchise will stop injecting wokeness into everything and get back to siblings making out.

“Ugh, spare me the woke garbage,” said longtime Star Wars fan Dylan Rogers. “If there’s not a brother and a sister swapping spit, I’m out.”

Star Wars fans have become increasingly frustrated with the direction of the franchise, with each new installment failing to come back to the original trilogy’s incestual roots. “Can we just stop with all the race and gender crap and get back to what made Star Wars great?” asked local man Chris Farrel. “Forget that nonsense and let’s get some genetically related people getting some tongue action. Classic Star Wars values.”

At publishing time, The Acolyte showrunners teased that the next episode would have incest, but it would be very, very gay.


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